Dear Christine,
I AM IN a bit of a bind and I need your help. There is a lot of drama taking place around me right now and I need to find out what’s your take on the matter.
I met my current boyfriend (if you can call him that) just over a year ago. We started out as friends and only got intimate four months into the relationship. When I met him, he was just getting over a break-up and was willing to cool things off for a while.
The young woman whom he stopped from seeing did not take the break-up very well. Apparently, he has had an on-and-off relationship with her for quite a while. When he stopped from seeing her, she would constantly call his cell almost every day. Some of those times, we’d be together. I asked him why he just could not ignore the calls or turn off the phone, but he would always answer with the statement that it is not polite not to answer calls as one never knows what the situation may be.
Well, I tried to settle down in the relationship. Things were going good until one day the woman called me at my workplace to tell me that she and my boyfriend were still a number and that no matter what was happening between us, she would always have first place in his life. Christine, I was stunned.
I immediately called him and asked him what was going on. He told me to ignore the call and that he would settle the matter once and for all. When I saw him later in the evening, he apologised for her behaviour. I asked him why he had to apologise and he said she was taking the break-up really hard.
Okay, I allowed that to “be as it may”.
Two weeks ago I got another call on my work phone and that was her again, telling me that she was pregnant and it was his child.
Christine, I don’t know how I got through the rest of the day. When I spoke with him later in the night, I asked him if he had been intimate with her. He denied this and told me that she was just trying to cause trouble.
Christine, I believed him, until I saw them together two days later. They looked like a couple very much in love. The following day I told him I was breaking off the relationship with him, but he pleaded with me not to do so and told me there was nothing intimate going on between them.
Do I believe him Christine? I am at a loss. What should I do?
– UNSURE ABOUT THIS
Dear Unsure About This,
I know exactly how you must feel. If there is nothing going on between the two of them, then why must he always answer the phone when she calls and why should she be calling you?
I don’t believe that he is being totally honest with you and for that, I would wish him goodbye. It is obvious from what you’ve written that they are still very much in contact with each other and he may just be playing you along.
Get out of this triangle and find someone who is not so intricately attached to his former girlfriend.
– CHRISTINE
