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DEAR CHRISTINE: Can’t say no to friend’s husband


DEAR CHRISTINE: Can’t say no to friend’s husband

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DEAR CHRISTINE, I am in quite a pickle and cannot seem to find my way out of it.

There is a group of us who have been friends for many years. Among us are five couples, then it’s me and another girlfriend who are single.

Recently, one of my girlfriend’s husband started coming on to me. He told me that he was falling in love with me and wanted to see me outside of the regular times when we meet as friends.

I thought that maybe if I could make him see things from my perspective – that is, that all of us are friends – then maybe he would back off. He did not. As a matter of fact, he started calling me every day and even turned up at my workplace to invite me out to lunch.

I made the mistake of thinking it would be an innocent thing to do, but I was wrong. When I got back to my office, he planted a kiss on my lips before asking me to meet him later in the evening at my home.

I don’t know why I did not say “no” there and then, but I agreed to. To cut a long story short, we had sex and everything has been complicated since then. When we meet together as a group, I can’t help but feel guilty. He, on the other hand, seems to think that everything is okay.

I cannot continue to see him, yet I feel too involved right now to stop from seeing him.

Please tell me what to do.

– J.H.

Dear J.H.,

You already know what to do – stop from seeing this man behind his wife’s back. As a matter of fact, how can both of you do what you’re doing to his wife?

Apologise to him for what you’ve done and let him know you cannot continue seeing him anymore. It’s better to do so at the earliest opportunity.