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MAVIS BECKLES: Good fathers needed


MAVIS BECKLES

MAVIS BECKLES: Good fathers needed

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BEFORE I GET in tuh what I really want tuh talk ’bout this week, let me apologise fuh the absence of this column last week. It was beyond my control and like some people would say, I apologise for any inconvenience caused. The truth is, I get hit fuh a six by one o’ the flu viruses dat duh got flying ’bout the place now and got the doctor’s offices full up every single day.

I had tuh say dat I ain’t know the last year I had a common cold far less was sick dah kinda way, where I couldn’t lift up muh head off the pillow fuh nuh more than a ten minute. It just wouldn’t stop spinning but thank God I feel a whole lot better this week and tuh the friends who was calling and checking up pon me, I thank you so much fuh caring. Wha’ loss, I ain’t want tuh feel dah way again; it is a very miserable, helpless feeling.

It gave me the opportunity tuh stop and really listen tuh some o’ the things dat going on. Like why our boy children in the state dat duh in now. I couldn’t even read; muh head was spinning. but I listen tuh people voicing their opinions about the present state of our young boys who, nuh matter wha’ anybody say, running helplessly along and destroying their precious young lives just so.

But, ya know, fuh everything there’s a reason and the young fellas wasn’t always so, but look at how life has changed. When evah something happen that involves a young man or men, look who the press does be talking tuh. It is always a woman, a mother who does be telling you ’bout the boy; very seldom, if evah, ya does see or hear anything ’bout a father.

Now, people could talk what evah duh like, but there’s nothing like a father, hear? Check boys who come along wid a good father around and see the difference. A lot o’ the things dat happening nowadays in Barbados wid these young fellas wouldn’t happen if the fathers was around and take duh responsibility seriously – even if duh didn’t live in the same house but would still be very much involved in the boy children lives.

Why you think the boys does find duhselves pon the blocks? From as early as primary school, li’l boys does be out by the big fellas pon the block. Some o’ dem does get caught up wid the block culture all the way through secondary school and because when duh get home there ain’t got nuhbody there tuh guide dem, spend time wid dem, encourage dem tuh pursue duh dreams and look fuh something better in life, some o’ dem does head fuh the block where the block men does make dem feel like big boys. Then, because duh want tuh belong, duh does conform tuh the culture. It makes dem feel like somebody.

They need acceptance, they need tuh fit in, they need tuh belong and they ain’t getting it home, not even from a uncle. Fuh one, in some cases, the uncle might be just as young as dem or even younger. It is like slavery all ovah again when the mothers used tuh feed the boys and keep dem healthy and strong fuh breeding purposes alone, not tuh be fathers tuh their children. as a matter o’ fact, duh might not have even known duh children so it like it is still in some men.

If you look around you would see the boys doing the same thing, not only here in Barbados but all ovah the western world. The thing is, it ain’t gine change until men decide to stop the cycle. I ain’t knocking all men because duh got some very good, loving fathers out there. Some o’ dem does father children who ain’t even dem own. But dat is just it: men got tuh stand up and decide dat dem gine be fathers, real fathers and take little boys, before they get in tuh their teens, under their wing and mentor dem so dat they could grow in tuh strong, confident young men who, when they know what a real father is like, ain’t gine turn tuh the block fuh affirmation of who they are.

I know this could work because I come along and see my own father doing it, even though he had seven boys of his own. I pray dat men would step up tuh the plate fuh the future of our nation.

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