DEAR CHRISTINE: Feeling used by boyfriend
DEAR CHRISTINE, I am 23 years old and reasonably attractive. I have a boyfriend who is 25. I love him very much and he says he loves me too, but I don’t think he really means it.
I feel I am being used by him because I cannot bring myself to say no to him. He is handsome and the girls are always after him. He does not take me to parties but he is always going to them. He tells me they are not for me. I do not mind because I am not really a party lover.
I show him all the love I know and I always buy him small gifts. On the other hand, he never has a gift for me. Every time he sees me he wants money. Sometimes I give him up to my last cent just to keep him happy. Again, he never has money to share with me.
When we go out I pay the bills, but he has a better job than I have. His salary is twice mine. Christine, I don’t want to reproach him but I am fed up with things as they are; still I cannot let him go.
I want to get married and settle down with an honest and loving man. However, every time I bring up the subject of marriage, he gets mad with me, saying he is too young for that. I have a good job and a nice family which I love dearly. They do not know my problems. They think we are happy.
I’ve had two disappointments and I don’t want any other man in my life. That is the reason I don’t want to leave him.
You say you are fed up, but obviously not fed up enough with this man who keeps sponging on you for everything you’ve got. You are buying his love. Is it really worth the price? I’m sure that even now you really have no hold on him.
He’s deadweight; drop him. You seem to be placing too much importance on his handsomeness which you say the girls are after. Give him to them. Even now he is said to be your boyfriend, how is he showing you that he cares? He never takes you anywhere. He has nothing to offer you and yet he continues to drain you of all he can get out of you.
Don’t think for a moment this is going to keep him near you longer than he can help it. It is quite possible when he can find someone else to supply him with more, he’ll be off. Is he really worth your love?