DEAR CHRISTINE: Friends think I’m gay, but I’m not
DEAR CHRISTINE, I am 16 years old and still at school, where I am doing quite well as far as my subjects and grades are concerned. However, in the area of relationships I am an amateur.
My best friend says there may be something wrong with me. When I was younger, I was a hard-core tomboy. I stayed that way until I got to be 13.
I did things that boys would do, like climbing trees, playing football and basketball. I also dressed in pants most of the time because I felt better wearing pants than skirts and dresses.
Now that I am in fifth form at school, I’ve started wearing make-up on occasion and I am gradually wearing more dresses than before. I like guys, but I don’t care to date them like my friends at school do.
Once a guy I know said he thought I was gay. I’m not. Now my friends are saying I might have a problem. I have given up my football and basketball only because I am concentrating more on my schoolwork.
Is it okay, Christine, not to be drooling over guys right now? I mean I don’t hate them and I know for sure that I am not gay. It’s just that it is what it is right now. Perhaps by the time I am through with my studies things will change, but right now I just want to be who I am.
On the other hand, Christine, should I start dating now so people won’t think that I despise the opposite sex, or think that I am gay?
No way! You don’t have to date boys just because of what people may think or say. Be your own person and do what you want to do.
If it is that you want to concentrate on your schoolwork right now, that’s a noble thing; do it. I am sure your parents admire the fact that you are concentrating on your schoolwork. Their opinion is the one that counts. Getting an education is very important, so don’t let anyone deter you.
There will be plenty of time after your studies for you to date. In the meanwhile, close your ears to all the “chatter” from your so-called friends.