YUH GAWH BE KIDDIN’: Invite the Royal family

I GOT IT! By jolly George I got it! Let us as a country, a people, invite the Royal family here once every month and each month the Royal family will visit different parts of the island.

I know wunnuh probably asking yourselves what de hell I talking ’bout, right? But mark my words, that this is going to be de only way that we gine get dese roads fixed.

Dis ting getting a bit too out of hand now and I can’t understand why I paying road tax if dem hardly got roads in Barbados to drive on. Because within myself I cannot honestly justify calling these hills and valleys roads.

De other day I went up St Lucy and spend ten minutes in a pothole. De ting did suh big that it had security at each end and yuh had was to present yuh passport to pass. If yuh doubt me, ask me.

Once upon a time if yuh drive a road twice yuh coulda memorise the potholes and come back de next time and drive it with yuh eyes closed and don’t drop in one. But now dese tings multiplying at alarming rates. As li’l rain fall more and more does pop up. Tings get so bad that a Facebook page called Potholes Of Barbados was created.

It is like a support group for those who fall victim to the dreaded pothole. Many a rim get crack, bend, tyres burst and all types of things and fuh some reason nothing ain’t being done about it. However, as my boy come in fuh de li’l Independence celebration all of a sudden, suddenly just so, roads could get patch up.

But now that I study it, if his presence can cause such miracles to occur then why not try other things? Fuh instance, right, set up an event fuh he at de National Stadium and see if de facilities gine get an upgrade. Then send he next door to Combermere School and see if dem could fix de problem so the children could get back into de school.

From dey now I gine get he tonito do li’l grocery shopping and see if dem gine send back VAT to 15 per cent.

Anyway, peoples, it is the end of the year, the ham done bake and eat, drinks done drink and food done get carry home in takeaway containers because nobody ain’t cooking till January 1. This year we learned many things but the most important is this: even though you may be underqualified for a job still apply for it because any trump is possible. Happy New Year!

I am Toni-Ann “Acka” Johnson. Love, peace and Mazola Corn Oil.

• Toni Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com