DEAR CHRISTINE: Disgusted about sex talk

Dear Christine,

MY PARENTS were very strict and so I got into the habit of not going out much. I lost both of them in a short space of time and soon after, got a job which I enjoy.

A few weeks ago, one of the men who works there started asking me out. We went to the cinema on two occasions and although I tried not to show it, I was disgusted with his conversation. It was all about sex. The most innocent thing said was somehow turned into conversation that was embarrassing.

Nothing against him

I don’t think that I am prude, but I certainly don’t see the need for people to be so bold and vulgar. I’ve nothing against this man except this kind of talk when he is at pictures, which is really the only place I’ve been with him.

What can I do, as I don’t want to go back into my old life?

– J.K.

Dear J.K.,

I don’t think you were being very bright by going along with your date’s behaviour at the cinema outing. Silence suggests consent. 

Not speaking up about the way you feel about his type of conversation might have given him the impression that you were enjoying it. Maybe he was showing off, so to speak, or trying to find out how much farther he could dare. 

A friendly “let’s change the subject and talk about something else” will do one of two things: give the friendship a chance to grow, or put an end to something you don’t really enjoy. 

If he is really interested in you, speaking up won’t hurt in any way.

– CHRISTINE