DEAR CHRISTINE, I never dreamed that I would have to write to you for a solution to a problem of my own.
I am a married woman with two children. It is hard to explain what is really wrong. I have been married for five years. My husband does not run around, smoke or have many other bad habits that cause other women grief.
However, he is downright unkind in other ways.
Do you know that he has not paid me a compliment in the five years that we have been married, even though I beg him to? Would you believe he never tells me he loves me even when I ask him to?
Christine, I work hard at my job and help pay half the expenses of the home. The hurtful thing, too, is he hardly says anything to me. When we watch television he lies on the couch and says nothing.
You can understand how lonesome I get. He hardly takes me anywhere and when he does he is anxious to be home again.
I told him that I was unhappy and explained why. Would you believe it made no impression? He still displays the same attitude towards me.
Since then we have had sex twice and although I asked him about what I discussed with him he said nothing. Therefore it was the same silent lovemaking on his part.
Christine, in all my life I have never felt so humiliated. What I would like to know is if all men are like this? I have never had a chance to find out.
Christine, I cannot go on with this behaviour for the rest of my life or I feel I would go quietly mad. I feel very depressed.
M.E.
Dear M.E.:
It is regrettable, but you seem to have acquired one of the so-called strong, silent types for a husband, and if your efforts have not succeeded in changing him so far, they are not likely to do so in the future.
All men are not like your husband. If you can think of his other fine qualities and ignore this part of his make-up, the situation might not be so bad.
The thing to do is not to rely on him entirely for some social contact. Join a club, organisation or make friends at church. Do something that will allow you to make friends with other people.
If your husband is addicted to the television you are in an almost impossible situation and will either have to accept it or run from it.
I hope that you can find more to your marriage to stay with it. By the way, the fact that he doesn’t say it doesn’t mean that he does not love you.
– CHRISTINE
