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DEAR CHRISTINE: Sex before marriage against my beliefs


DEAR CHRISTINE: Sex before marriage against my beliefs

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DEAR CHRISTINE, I AM IN LOVE with a very nice boy who is still at school. So am I. It will be at least another two years before we can think of getting married.

I don’t think he’ll have any difficulty finding a job as a number of his relatives own or hold good positions in business.

We hope to get married as soon as school is finished.

At first he did not seem to want more than kissing and caressing, but recently he asked me to let him make love to me. I love him very much, but my conscience bothers me.

You see, Christine, I have been brought up to think that it would be wrong to live with a man before marriage. I told him this and he says that he respects my decision.

Just the same, I am afraid that it may make him think that I do not care for him enough, which is not true, of course. Should I prove my love that way and ignore my conscience?

– M

Dear M,

I certainly would not advise you to do something which goes against your conscience. I don’t think you should be anxious about your boyfriend either. He has told you he respects your decision, and there seems to be no reason for not believing him.

Not agreeing to his request to make love now should not make him doubt your love.

He probably has strong principles also and despite his physical desires he must have a high regard for you. This is what most men with marrying intentions look for and admire.

One is made to feel these days that “everyone is doing it”. This is not so. Plenty of girls who love their fiancés passionately manage to wait for marriage.

Try to avoid excessive caressing since it would make self-control more difficult. Concentrate on your school work and try to spend your time with your friends rather than always being alone together.

Let this be a time of becoming great friends which will go towards making you wonderful lovers when the right time comes around.