DEAR CHRISTINE: He ‘loves’ me but lives with child’s mother
I STARTED BEING friendly with a man nearly a year ago. He is older than I am and says he loves me. I try to believe him but what worries me is that he insists on living at the home of his child’s mother.
He told me they are not as close as before.
At first it did not bother me, but now it does as some of my friends tell me he and the girl go out together and that they look all right to them. The people who tell me these things are my best friends. They would like him for me and have not said anything to the girl he is living with.
I also worry when he says he is coming to see me and then does not turn up. He told me several times that he likes peace and he usually finds an excuse to leave this girl when he is coming to see me.
Christine, do you think he means everything he says he feels for me, even though he lives in the same house as this girl? Should I try to put him out of my mind? I do not like being deceived. It is breaking my heart.
I suppose you think it is wrong for this man to deceive you, then don’t you think it is wrong also for him to cheat on his child’s mother, who I presume thinks he cares for her? Both of you are being treated very badly by him as he is being untrue to you both.
If you can put yourself in the position of that girl, you will find that you would not like to know your lover was out with someone else.
I think you should stop having the relationship you’re having with this man while he is living with another girl, and who can only see you by telling lies.
I also feel he must have stronger affection for her and the child since he continues to stay with them, and even keeps his affair with you unknown to her.