DEAR CHRISTINE: Son smoking weed a strain on family
MY HUSBAND REFUSES to take any action, or even to discuss the fact that our 15-year-old son smokes a great deal of marijuana.
He makes no attempt to hide it, but burns cheap incense to cover the odour. What worries me is that because of this habit he is a changed person.
He is listless and his grades have fallen off. He really does not care about school much and I suspect, he cuts a lot of his classes.
His father takes the attitude that many people smoke pot and it really does not make all that difference. Also, he is afraid that if he talks to our son about it, our son won’t consider him a friend or pal but merely a harsh parent.
– Anxious Mother
Dear Anxious mother:
Your husband is a parent of another generation and this should give him some experience and wisdom that is needed for guidance. Your son has friends and pals his own age. The parent who tries to stay the same age of the child is making a great error and is failing to provide what the child basically wants and needs.
The parent who won’t accept responsibility, who lacks conviction and refuses to be firm with a child, is also creating a power vacuum and when this happens there are always plenty of friends who will walk in and fill it. We have all heard about peer pressure and drugs.
Adolescence is a time when a youngster needs to feel part of a group and if he does not have guidance in the home he will be apt to select the group that parties, that uses drugs and that gets into trouble. I suggest that if your husband does not have a good sit-down chat with your son that you then, should attempt to do so.