DEAR CHRISTINE: Should my daughter marry again?
DEAR CHRISTINE, We have one child for whom we did everything possible. When she was 17 she got pregnant, and we helped her and the young man to get married. That was a mistake from the start. They struggled along for six years, and finally he left her.
She returned to us with their child, whom he never supported. We left him to go his way as we were not able with the bother of going to the law courts to get a few dollars from him.
She is now thinking of getting married to a man whom we are not certain about.
I am afraid that another bad marriage would drag her down again. He has said that he would like the little girl from her first marriage to live with them. We don’t like this at all.
What do you think?
I think you are painting a gloomy picture, which need not be the case. Your daughter is no longer 17. It is true that she must have suffered as a result of a bad first choice and should be wiser in choosing someone to marry again.
You are not as close to her boyfriend as she is and not likely to get any closer if you are showing signs of condemnation. I am sure he senses your objections and this would make it difficult for him, or your daughter, to have any meaningful conversation with you.
At this time your daughter needs an understanding and sympathetic mother, far more than someone who is only willing to provide her and her child with living quarters.
No matter how loving you try to make things, she’d much rather have her own home with her own man. Together, they ought to be able to provide that child with all its material and emotional needs.
So, open up your heart, wish them well and work towards encouraging them to find the happiness you want for your daughter.