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DEAR CHRISTINE: Can’t get over boyfriend’s affair


DEAR CHRISTINE: Can’t get over boyfriend’s affair

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Dear Christine,

I EXPECT TO be getting married at the end of this year to a man who I heard had an affair with a woman who had left her husband. She was even expecting a baby for him but lost it.

When I asked him if it was true, he did not deny it but swore it is all over. He does not see her and whenever I bring up the subject, he gets very angry.

We have had quite a few quarrels over that love affair and I feel somehow when he gets mad with me, he’d like to go back to her. He can’t do this as she has made up with her husband.

Sometimes I feel very depressed about this matter. Can you help me?

– C.J.

Dear C.J.,

I think you are punishing yourself by keeping this episode of your boyfriend’s life before you. To me it would have been more disturbing if she had had the child as there definitely would have been a strong link. This is not so and I presume that she is happily reunited with her husband.

But for this incident, I suppose you two are also happy with each other and so I can’t understand why you should want to remind your boyfriend of this affair by constantly probing at it.

You were not there in his past, so why dwell on if he is willing to put it all behind him and be with you?