Bonds that tie
Rose Hategekimana and Mutamuliza Cutting think they have the ideal mother-daughter relationship.
Forty-two-year-old Rose and 20-year-old Mutamuliza share a bond which is admired by many.
It is on rare occasions that you see one without the other.
EASY magazine sat down with Rose at her Christ Church home last week and Skyped in Mutamuliza, who is in Trinidad studying radiology.
The mum and daughter duo spoke glowingly of their relationship and said they would have it no other way.
“We have a very good relationship and I can speak to her about anything on earth. She’s . . . very up to date. She’s not hard on me or tries to be overly motherly. She knows how to tone it down and just speak to me. I just think we have a good relationship because she is just really fun and is an amazing mum . . . ,” Mutamuliza said.
Rose described their relationship as “simply great”.
“We have the best relationship. She makes me laugh. She always tells me everything. Sometimes she’s brutally honest and I’m like, ‘Whoa’. She talks to me about everything. She might not tell me at the same time but be sure she’s going to come and tell me.
“I always used to tell her, whatever you do, it won’t be the first someone has done it . . . . Nothing is new under the sun. There’s nothing to hide. I tell her everything too. I keep it straight,” Rose added.
But did they always have such a close connection? Yes, Mutamuliza is an only child, and Rose is a single parent.
Rose Hategekimana (Picture by Dominique Bonnett.)
Rose, who is a businesswoman, explained that it was really just always her and Muta, which she calls her for short.
“She wasn’t planned but I was still happy about it. I was very excited. She was wanted. She was born here and her dad and I broke up and it was just always my daughter and me. My daughter is the whole of me; she’s a mini version of Rose. Muta was a good kid. I’m not only saying it because she’s my child but she was easy to raise,” she said, adding that she moved here at age 11, born in Rwanda, East Africa, to a Bajan dad.
Muta said one thing she always admired about her mother growing up was her warm and kind heart.
“My mum is a very warm and loving person, a very kind heart and very understanding. She is just an all-round good person,” she said.
Muta, she loves the fact that she has a young mother, which makes the relationship much easier. She told EASY she feels like she has a built-in best friend.
“It never bothered me that my mum was so young. Sometimes I think it’s a good thing. When I’m in a party I don’t want to be next to her but it’s still good to know that she’s there that if anything happens I have her. It’s a very comforting feeling,” she said.
Muta made reference to a modelling gig with her mother during a recent band launch in Barbados, and said it was “the coolest thing ever”.
“It was her section so she thought who better to model it than me and her. It was an amazing experience for me . . . .”.
Muta, a former Miss Universe Barbados contestant, said she also loves the fact that her mother allows hers to be herself.
“I like that she doesn’t really try to force me into anything and be overly strict. I like that she trusts my decisions and thought processes. She tries to guide me but she’s not overly strict and doesn’t try to dictate everything I do. She allows me to make my choices and so on,” she said.
Nodding her head in agreement, Rose said one thing she made sure to teach Muta was how to be herself.
“I always wanted her to have confidence. I never wanted her to be a child that wasn’t sure of herself. I wanted her to believe that whatever she wanted was possible. I just want her to do whatever her heart desires. Don’t ever force children into something they don’t want to do,” she said.
Rose said she is always in awe when she hears her daughter speak.
“When she says things and I see how her mind thinks and how her heart moves . . . that is what makes me so proud. I’m like, ‘Oh, my God, I raised a really great person’. Even thinking about it makes me tear up. Muta has such a good heart and just the way how she is. She’s very sympathetic and thoughtful. I’m proud of that and I’m proud of the type of person that I can see that’s she going to become,” the loving mother added.
Rose, who got a bit emotional, said she misses being able to do everything with her.
“She’s a great human being. I hope all her dreams and aspirations come true. I always miss her a lot. I get very lonely when she’s gone. I miss when she was very little and we used to do everything together. We talk often, almost every day via message, call or Facetime,” she said.
In sending a belated Mother’s Day message, Muta said, “I want to thank my mum for being there for me. I’m so grateful and have so much love to her. She is the only person that I can turn to and look to for everything. I never lacked for anything. She would always make sure I was taken care of. I see no flaw with how my mum brought me up and I would like to raise my child the same. Everything she did for me was done from the heart. We always had a good relationship and I hope to pass that onto my kids as well.”
Rose said: “Continue believing in yourself. Always have a good heart in everything you’re doing. Be sincere. Always be honest with yourself and people. I’ve always preached about love and you’re growing into a truly wonderful person.” (DB)