Dear Christine,
I am trying to help one of my friends to find someone. She is a 38-year-old mother of one, is very understanding, stable, attractive and dependable. She loves movies, reading, listening to music or just hanging out having fun.
She is a devoted mother and I have always heard her say that she would like someone who has one or two children and is involved in the children’s lives.
I always tease her about being too picky, but I believe there is a “picky” male just waiting for her. But she is a genuine person (and I am not lying). I believe there is a responsible, drug-free, fun-loving man between the ages of 38 and 42 seeking to become involved with such a wonderful individual.
– CONCERNED?FRIEND
Dear Concerned Friend,
The picture you have painted of your girlfriend makes her seem like an incredible individual and an excellent partner-in-waiting for the right man.
I am sure quite a few men will be writing to try to get in contact with her.
Your letter, though, highlights an aspect of life in Barbados I am becoming increasingly concerned about. That is, the number of single women who would love to get involved and have a family but are not doing so because they are scared of getting hurt. I hear this complaint from women all the time.
They tell me they meet men but most of these guys have one thing in mind.
Few of the men are willing to get to know them and develop a relationship, and so these single ladies prefer to be alone. And many of these women that I speak of have their own home, vehicle and career.
The only thing missing is a loving partner.
What angers me most about this situation is what seems to be the predominant attitude of men. For many of them, women are just sexual objects. I find this disgusting and immature.
Men here need to be more respectful of women and realise that sex is not all a woman is good for.
Too many men here act as if they don’t have mothers, aunts, sisters and female cousins who they would want to see treated with respect. It seems they don’t understand that if every man views women in this way, then this unsavoury situation will be perpetuated.
Having said that, it would be remiss of me if I did not also mention the number of financially independent single women who say they get involved with married men because they don’t want anyone to complicate their lives, as a single man may do.
As I always say, it takes two to tango, so the married men would have to be willing participants for an affair to occur in the first place. But, as most women would tell you, men are weak.
However, the fact that some single women deliberately target married men is something that is happening here which I think is undesirable.
Of course, there is no easy solution to this situation. Love and companionship are as significant to a human being’s existence as water and food are to their body.
However, a start could be made with people showing greater respect for one another.
– Christine
