DEAR CHRISTINE: He wants to take away my children
My parents put me out of their home just over a year ago because I was pregnant with my second child at the age of 19. I cannot say that things were easy when they did this, but thank God I was working and was therefore able to help myself and my children.
I went to live with my boyfriend’s mother who does not seem to care about how many women he goes out with or even brings to the house.
Even with his second child on the way he behaved in the worst way. I really thought things would have been better for all of us. Instead, I have had to spend most of my salary supporting us – including him.
I have recently made friends again with my mother who has admitted to me that she was hasty in sending me away.
She has asked me to return home and I am willing and ready to do so. However, my boyfriend says I must leave the children with him.
Christine, he is no example to them and is very indifferent towards me. He hardly supports them and gives me very little. I feel trapped and afraid. What am I to do?
You are to take up your children and return to your mother’s house where your children will perhaps enjoy a more stable life. This man has no legal or other rights to prevent you from doing so. If he refuses to support them because they are not living under the same roof as he is, seek child maintenance for them through the court.
In fact, if you can support them on your own, do so. It seems you’ve been doing this for some time anyway.
Judging from what you have written, he disrespects you by bringing other women to his mother’s house and she does not have the guts to tell him to refrain from doing so.
You do not owe him an explanation for leaving. He’s staring it in the face every day – his total disregard for you. Take your children and leave. If he continues to threaten you, report his threats to the police.