WELL, I GINE TELL YA: I really got some fine friends in trute. Now you would remember dat last week I wrote about the violence against women in this Barbados. I mean it does happen all ’bout the world too but I was really focusing pon the ones dat happening ’bout here all the time.
Anyway, Saturday evening one o’ my friends call me laughing, telling me dat I is something else and something wrong wid my head. When I ask her why, she couldn’t stop from laughing but then finally tell me dat I perpetrating violence because I say if a man get suh drunk and say he beating me, he gine be sorry he put he hands pon me ’cause when he wake up, he gine find dem next tuh he in the bed or wherevah he sleeping.
Now you would think dat dat was it, but nnnooooo! Sunday I in church and another friend o’ mine would allow me tuh know dat I inciting and perpetrating violence and it is the same thing I talking against and ain’t want the men tuh do.
She, too, find it hilarious. But ya see these women, though? Now dem like duh doan mind he licking in my gizzard. He could pulverize me as he like, when he like and as long as he like but it look tuh me dat I like I ain’t suppose tuh do nutten ’bout it. Doan retaliate.
Well, I gine have tuh tell wunna kinda friends so dat the old people used tuh say one-one blow does kill a old cow. So the two o’ wunna might see me as a old cow who look like I could take some warm blows evah suh often but wunna lie. Lemmuh tell ya, not a boy ain’t bruising or marking up this nice chocolate skin nor leffing nuh bruise blood in me. So, before the second set o’ blows come, while he sleeps peacefully and I am there whimpering and licking my wounds, I would just relieve him of the two things dat he used tuh cause me great pain. Okay, my two good friends?
Ya see these men who like tuh beat women? I am sure dat these women who eventually become their victims doan evah see the true person until it is too late and then the real thing does show itself: it counterfeit. Nutten like it ain’t real nowadays, hear?
Hey, talking ’bout dat and on a different note, you could imagine dat duh finding counterfeit bills in the new purty money dat only just come out? Look, the old ones ain’t outta circulation yet so duh introduce these new ones so dat people could get accustom tuh dem. But I tell ya: before these new ones could settle in good, people got duh counterfeit a’ready. You could imagine dat?
Let me tell you something: these days ya have tuh keep ya two eyeballs open wide all the time because evahthing dat looks good and appear tuh be real and genuine ain’t so, hear?
The other day I was there helping out a friend o’ mine at her business and would you believe somebody put one pon she? Yes! A crisp counterfeit twenty dollar bill in the brand new money dat only just come out. You could imagine dat? People ain’t even begin tuh get accustom tuh this new money yet. Some people ain’t even see all the different denominations and features yet and people got duh copied off and pon the market alongside the real ones a’ready, hear? It is terrible; it is downright disgusting.
The other day I went in tuh the bank and saw a picture wid some o’ the notes and lines pointing tuh the different things ya have tuh look for when ya get this new money in ya hand. I mean it is a lot o’ little things tuh look for. Then a fella in front o’ me in the same line turn ’round and said tuh me dat he is a vendor and he does sell in the market. He said dat when the market busy, he got people in front o’ he and he hustling, he doan have time tuh even check the money he get in he hand good. The man say dat he does see the figure and the colour and all he does be thinking ’bout is making the change and letting the customer guh ’long.
When this money first come in tuh circulation, I was very disappointed at the way it looked and a lot o’ people saying it ain’t look real at all. When I show people dat twenty-dollar bill, duh does be in shock but at least it does make dem aware of what tuh look for and not take it at face value and assume um real. So if wunna want the real thing, nuh counterfeit, nuh matter how long it take you tuh look fuh dem li’l signs, look or ya gine be left wid a whole lot o’ pain.
•Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.
