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LOOKA LEW: It happens to everyone

Eric Lewis, [email protected]

LOOKA LEW: It happens to everyone

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DON’T TELL NO LIES, have you ever missed and got on a wrong bus? I ain’t know bout you, but the first thing I does say to myself is, “Wait, this bus got on a very lot o’ ugly people; I ain’t see nobody on this bus I know.”

Then from the time the bus swing and gone in an unfamiliar direction, I does get frighten and ask the person next to me, “wuh bus this is?” And from the moment I hear it ain’t the bus I supposed to be on, I does be scrambling to ring the bell to get off.

Or I hate, and I mean hate with a capital H, if I stand up in a long line to do something and then when I get to the top of the line the person there tells me, “no, you can’t do that here, you have to go upstairs and join de line by de cashier, pay and bring back de receipt to me.” Then when I get by the cashier, the line twice as long as the one I now left.

So having said all of that, you could understand how I felt, when I went in search of a house party I was invited to last Old Year’s Night.

First thing, I couldn’t find the house, so I found myself rambling in the area. Anyhow, I heard some music and saw a li’l gathering outside a house

So I parked and armed with a nice bottle of wine I entered the party, placed the wine among some other drinks on a table and then went looking for the host, only to discover that I was at the wrong house.

Well, from the time I realise I was at the wrong house, I went looking for my wine before somebody start to drink um. And all the time running back to collect my wine, I saying to myself, “Well, if I can’t find the wine I bring I taking up any wine, whiskey or brandy, cause I ain’t leaving my wine at no strange house and gine at my friend’s house empty-handed.”

Luckily I found the wine still intact and left. I just hope the people who saw me take up the wine and leave did not think that I was thiefing it. I eventually found the right party, which was just a few houses away.

But don’t laugh, it don’t only happen to me or you. Sometimes surgeons does end up cutting off the wrong body parts or dentists pulling out the wrong teeth.

Anyhow, listen though, I remember one time I went to a member of staff funeral. Midway through the funeral I noticed some of the staff now arriving, so I put it down to that they were so accustomed to being late for work that they came to the woman’s funeral late as well. After the funeral service when I got chance to speak with them, I found out what happen.

Apparently there was another funeral at a church just around the corner and they went to that by mistake and spent half the morning down there crying. Some of them even looked at the old lady in the casket and lamented at how different she looked and how the illness really took a toll on her.

It was only when one of them took a good look at the name and picture on the pamphlet that they person whispered aloud, “Oh shoot, we at de wrong funeral.” So they had to tiptoe out the church and walk down by the real funeral and start crying again.

I real serious. It could happen to you so don’t laugh. See ya.

E-mail: [email protected] twitter @madderic