DEAR CHRISTINE, I have been married for nine years now. At the start of my marriage I dearly loved my wife. There is nothing I would not have done for her.
Christine, she trampled my heart. She says she does not love me and only married me because I got her pregnant. We have one son.
When I am having sex with her, she shows no affection. She tells me to “make it quick” and “hurry up”. I cannot tell you how much this hurts me.
After a period of such treatment, I made friends with a woman and we started going out together. When my wife found out about this, she said she loved me and asked me to return to her.
I left the woman and my wife and I got together again. However, my happiness did not last very long because she started to treat me badly. Again I found another woman and again my wife declared she loved me. I returned to her. It was not long before she behaved as in the past.
Things got worse. She does not even wash my clothes and we sleep in separate rooms. Despite all this, I support my family but I now have become friendly with someone else who, like me, is unhappily married. No sooner my wife heard about this than she returned with old pleas and promises.
Christine, I am afraid to leave this friend who has become so dear to me to return to my wife to be treated badly again. Please give me your advice.
– DM
Dear D.M.,
I am somewhat from the old school and as I see it, two wrongs don’t make a right. Neither you nor this woman has the real freedom to be together because both of you are married. If you and your wife cannot get along, then consider getting a divorce. It is as simple as that.
In addition, if during sex she is telling you to “hurry up” and “make it quick”, it means that she is not getting any satisfaction out of her sex life.
Both of you need to sit down and consider where you want to go from here on and whether you are going to do so together.
– CHRISTINE
