DEAR CHRISTINE: Friend’s cheating husband affecting her health
Dear Christine,Good day to you and keep up the good work you’re doing. I am writing on my friend’s behalf. She may be mad at me for doing this, but I love her and want to help her. I have a friend who is a Christian. She thought she was happily married until she found out recently that her husband of eight years is seeing other women when she is out working at night. They have one teenaged son, their own car, a beautiful, three bedroom wall house, and they both contribute to the mortgage. He has his own business besides the work he does during the day. He pretends in public to be nice to her, but when she is at home he seldom notices her.It is affecting her so much she is losing a lot of weight and not eating properly, she even told me because of the stress-related job she is in, she goes home and cries at night. Her workmates, too, are very negative. She works shift because she is in the hotel industry. Two months ago she got a call at work that he was seen in the gap taking to lunch a dark Rasta woman.She became so stressed that she was affected with facial paralysis and had to take time off from work. She ended up going back out to work before the time was up because her husband did not look at her when she was at home sick. I told her maybe she needs to spruce up how she carries herself. I told her she needs to grow her hair, start dressing like a woman and make herself look attractive.A week ago she called him at about 9:30 p.m. A woman answered the phone and she asked for her husband. The woman said “Hold on”, came back on to the phone and started making sounds like oooh, oooh, aaah, aaah, oooh and started laughing. My friend put down the phone and called again because she was at work and did not want to cause a scene by shouting on the phone. He answered the phone and told her she might have called the wrong number. Christine, she is disturbed. What do you and your readers think about this?
– CONCERNED FRIENDDear Concerned Friend,Your friend needs to speak directly to her husband about his infidelity since it is clearly impacting negatively on her in many ways. We have heard consistently about the need to be faithful and stay committed to one partner, which is what she needs to demand in this situation.I do not know if growing her hair adds anything to this situation since hairstyle, including length, is a very personal choice, but I do agree she needs to take good care of herself. She should also consider seeking some counselling for both herself and her husband, from either her pastor or a psychologist. Despite the challenges in the marriage, as a couple they should consider all ways to save the marriage. I do hope the situation works to your best interest.