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SECRETS CORNER: Praying for help in love


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“WHEN I BECAME AWARE of my sexuality, I asked God for guidance to help me in my choice of partner. “[And though] I had health challenges throughout my life, the Lord answered my prayers. I met and married a wonderful man and have two beautiful children.“For me, God is at the centre of everything I do. I talk with Him daily through prayer, and I know if more people would trust the Father, their lives, too, would be enriched.”This testimony from a female caller was just one of several received this week in response to our question: Is there any real benefit to praying to God for help in one’s relationship? If so, share an example of how this has worked for you?The majority of those who called, texted and emailed said that with prayer and obedience to God’s word, one’s desires are sure to come to pass.Most contended that when one’s prayers to God are genuine and positive outcomes are sought for both friends and foes, they are usually honoured “in the fullness of time, if it is God’s will”.Those with different views primarily contended that belief in prayer as a means of deliverance from challenges in a relationship was no more than wishful thinking. As one man said:“When people can’t deal with things they refer them to God because they feel overwhelmed. But that is foolishness because [on a daily basis your lifestyle is not consistent with] a true believer. “Deal with your problems . . . .  stop trying to hide behind prayers and God.”For those who believe in God, prayer is inextricably linked to their faith, no matter their religion. It is, essentially, the manner in which believers communicate with this Supreme Being, to share their innermost thoughts.Through the centuries, much has been said and written about the benefits of praying and how some prayers have been manifested; so we do not need to get into that here.Our concern is whether people get, or think they get, tangible benefits from praying to God for help in their relationship. Based on what we have seen through the years, there is a clear connection between some people’s happiness in a relationship and their communion with God.  This can be seen in people’s confidence, their capacity to give unconditional love, and their sense of security because they have God’s protection; and when such emotions are applied to a relationship, that union, tends to grow. This is particularly so when the couple are both believers and seek to live an uplifting life.The following are edited versions of responses:For• “If the relationship isn’t sanctioned by God, He will not answer our prayers. . . . With respect to a relationship, many times in my life my wife prayed for a situation that was affecting my life, and God answered our request and vice versa. • “Every time we encountered a problem in our relationship and tried to solve it alone, we made it worse. When we prayed for guidance (I like to call it divine intervention) He stepped in and has come to our rescue every time without fail, or question, or reservation, or hesitation.”• “Seek Jah first, everything else after! Prayer works for all!”• “God listens to all prayers. . . . God is good and we can but pray that His will is done!”Against• “In my opinion (not to offend anyone) praying for help in a relationship is psychological. It may help you to find or enhance the qualities that you may already have, to get the relationship back on course. This would have to be “a two-way street” effort as well, because if you pray all day for the relationship to work and the other person lacks the effort, what’s going to happen?”• “One hand working is better than a thousand clasped in prayer.”• “Women use this against men to get sympathy. They like to appear more holy to everybody, [though they do] the nastiest and wickedest things to men. And because they get away with it most of the time, they see it as a sign from God that what they do is right.”• “Women always feel they should get what they want, and when a man does not do what they want, they pray for him to change. [That is why] the churches are full of women.“[Women don’t realise that their] relationships would be better if they listened more and stopped trying to change the men.”