MAVIS BECKLES: Duh jucking out we eyeballs

I AIN’T KNOW how some people out there making it, hear? Talk about headaches? Ting, it aint easy at all bout here; evah single body like duh prepared and ready tuh juck out ya eye.
If it aint the utilities people, it is the lending people or the health, home, car or general insurance people, or the banks and credit unions, even the lawyers. All kinda people like duh just decide dat dem gine juck out ya eye right in front ya face. Nuhbody aint seem tuh got any kinda scruples or even conscience nowadays; no kinda compassion whatsoevah.
Look, evahtime ya look around, the bills does be coming in left, right and centre. As soon as ya done clear off one or part of it, another one does be right there up in front o’ ya face. Duh doan give ya a chance tuh catch yaself. And look, the fastest thing these companies could do is threaten ya like if when dem do dat all the money dat you owe dem gine automatically fly from somewhere and bong in your hand or theirs.Ya aint want nothing wid the electric bill at all. All of a sudden dat bill just skyrocket and all ya doing is asking yaself wha’ gine on, dat it is only you living in the house, how the France the bill could get suh high.
Then there’s LIME. My sister was quarrelling the other day bout a $10 dat she see appear pon her bill; she aint know where it came from or how come nuhbody aint tell she nutten bout it. All I tell her is dat she should go straight tuh LIME office and check it out.
The next one is the water works bill. If you evah got a problem wid yours, make sure you find ya’self in town down there in Bay Street and get in the long line like anybody else, ’cause duh aint got nuh more outlets and when ya call not a soul doan answer the phones.
The same thing goes for the Multichoice people up there at CBC. Dem too gone up since Mr Sinckler’s budget. And look, doan miss and call dem neither ’cause not a soul aint gine answer ya, and when ya mek the effort and go up there, expect dat you gine have tuh stan’ up a long, long line and wait ya turn.
One set o’ the people dat I can never seem tuh get understand is the insurance people. I aint know how ya’all feel bout dem but tuh tell ya the truth, as far as I am concerned, dem is some o’ the most indifferent, heartless, cruel people I have evah come across.  
Not one cent
You could imagine dat fuh all the years dem does be taking money from you fuh ya car, ya home, life, business and God knows wha’evah else and duh doan evah give ya back one blind cent – not a hello, birthday or thank you card fuh ya partronage over all the years. 
The only time ya does hear anything from dem is when ya insurance expire or is about tuh expire. Then is the only time you would get a letter reminding you tuh pay it.
Only this morning I was talking tuh my daughter about her health ’cause she wasn’t feeling too well and asked her about her health insurance at work, and she told me dat the insurance company turned her down because she was too honest wid dem. She said dat the insurance companies only want tuh insure healthy people. She told me dat she has life insurance but they refuse tuh give her health.
My problem wid dem is this thing bout having tuh pay the first two per cent of my coverage before I could claim anything from dem. 
When my house got a little damage during the storm Tomas and I called dem tuh get some kinda assistance, one man was very matter-o-fact bout it; he asked me how much my house was insured for so I told him and he allowed me tuh know dat I would have tuh pay $8 000 and dat is how it is; end of matter! I then asked him how, when or if I would ever be able tuh get full coverage and he tell me if the house burn down flat.I aint know where the France I gine get $8 000 tuh repair a house from.
I thought dat is what I was paying an insurance company all these years for. So now I am left wid a house dat want repairing, no money tuh repair it, but dem calling and writing me telling me dat my insurance expired.
Ya see these people boy? If it wasn’t fuh the mere mercy o’ God ya would lose it, the mental couldn’t hold half o’ we.
Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.