DEAR CHRISTINE – New girl, but I still love my wife
I have a problem that I would like advice on.
I separated from my wife just over seven months ago because we were making each other miserable. I walked out because I could not take her anymore. This was something building up for years now.
We have two children who live with her. I give her $200 a week for the children and to help pay rent. I also call the children and take them out in order to continue being a part of their lives.
The problem is this: I have started a relationship with a really nice woman. I really care for her, but feel guilty being involved with her as I still love my wife.
My feelings about my wife are so strong that I make sure she is not at my house when my children come over.
Since our separation my wife has never asked me to come back, neither has she indicated that we should divorce eventually. In fact, these days we get on better than we have in years and, honestly, I am hoping that we can get back together again.
How do you think I should handle this situation?
Have you and your wife sought counselling to deal with your communication problem?
If you haven’t, I suggest you seek this professional help because it is clear that you still love her, and it appears that she still cares for you.
Sometimes two people can’t live with each other, but find it difficult to live apart from one another. Yours may be such a case.
The two of you need to sit down together and honestly say what you like and dislike about each other without rancour.
I suspect that what is causing the problem between you may be something that can be dealt with if discussed in a neutral environment with a counsellor to guide you.
I must add that if you still care about your wife you need to think seriously about discontinuing the relationship with your lady friend. You can’t be thinking about reconciliation and being intimate with someone else. That is not right.
It is also not fair to this woman as you are leading her to believe she can have a future with you when that is not so.