Every so often, we all love to be pampered and lavished with nice gifts.It makes us feel super special, loved and wanted.Who wouldn’t want to be the centre of attention, feeling worthy of nice presents?
Sometimes the timing of receiving gifts from a friend, loved one, or even a stranger, is right on point.
We might need a confidence booster, or a reminder that we are loved, or it might be a pick-me-upper on a day when our spirits need to be lifted.
Most of us get gifts at Christmas time, or birthdays, but sometimes there is the occasional “Just because” gift.And, there is nothing that says we need to share the good news when we receive our gifts either.
Truth be told, we don’t have to share with others all the great things, or the sad things that happen to us or come our way.
Sometimes it is necessary to keep a few secrets close. As the old people would say: “Your left hand don’t have to know what your right hand is doing”.
And to this day, that adage is true. Sometimes we feel we have to share too much with others even when there is no need.Oftentimes it is just as good to shut up, sit back and savour some of the good things that come your way.
That’s why kudos should go to the subject of this week’s Secret’s Corner, who opted to keep quiet about her gifts instead of blabbering.
This week’s question is: In this recent Yuletide season, your sister, with whom you talk intimately, was lavished with gifts, but she remains tight-lipped about their origin. You suspect it may have to do with a new guy you’re sure is dating someone else. How would you deal with such a situation? Where would you even start such a conversation?
Truly there is nothing that says she has to tell you anything. Mind your business and wait until that information is offered up.
Why not simply appreciate that she was lavished with gifts – something that so many of us crave for? As for the fact that they may have come from a guy who is dating someone else; again, what does this have to do with you? Since when was this any of your business?
Your sister is an adult who is free to make her own choices.If she wants to tell you who gave her, she would say. Don’t push; don’t prod, because you could appear to have an agenda.Sometimes when you wait patiently, information comes your way.
In the meantime, just be happy that someone appreciated your sister enough to pamper her in a meaningful way. If she is not being hurt in any way, I suggest you leave it alone. What sordid facts are to come out of this will come out eventually.
She is of age, I am sure, to be discerning about accepting gifts from people – even if the person is seeing someone else. Let her decide.
So whether you have intimate conversations or not – wait until that conversation is opened up.
If it isn’t, Mind your Business.
This is advice from some of our online readers:
• “Mind your business. If you are that close she would have told you if she wanted you to know.”
• “If you are that close she will tell you when she is ready.”
• “If my sister was dating someone it is not my business regardless of if he had another woman or not. First of all my sister might tell me to mind my own business, and if she did I would only have myself to blame. What is secret about this anyway? I am sure my sister would discover that he was with someone else for herself. If she knew about the next woman and wanted my opinion perhaps I might say something. I am close with my sister but we never discuss dates.”
• “Unless I suspect her boyfriend is a drug dealer about to be held by the police, or an assassin for hire that has a bounty on his head or a business owner committing fraud for whom the fraud squad is about to bring down, or some other kind of criminal that could put my sister in danger, I probably won’t bring up the subject.
“If we are that close, I probably had already made my suspicions known so she would know where I stand. If she’s still with him and that’s his way of saying sorry or distracting her, it’s technically not my business so the subject won’t have to come up at all.”
• “You ain’t serious? This is my sister whom I love and care for. We tight and if I see some moron about to break her heart and shatter her dreams I have responsibility to step up and do something about it.”
• “She hiding it for a reason. At the end of the day she is a grown woman making grown woman decisions and most likely nothing you or anybody says would change that. And the question posed was what if he was dating somebody else, that is a long way from physical abuse and a complete different circumstance.”
• carolmartindale@nationnews.com
