Dear Christine,
I am reaching out to you from another Caribbean island, since I have been having trouble with a man I have been living with for the past six years.
Christine, he never seems to be able to keep a job, so I am the official bread-winner.
As much as I would like to see him working and contributing, I might even be able to stand his being unemployed if he helped around the house.
My work place is far from home and so I do not go home for lunch.
I usually take a sandwich with me.
Naturally, I am hungry and tired when I reach home. What do I find when I arrive?
I usually find him sprawled out in front of the television waiting for me to cook supper.
He makes no effort to clean the house or to even attempt to wash his own clothes.
He enjoys reading and would spend hours doing just that. I’ve had enough. Is there any way I can get him to change his ways?
– A
Dear A,
For the past six years you’ve played “wifey” to this man and he has simply taken advantage of you.
I doubt very much you’ll be able to change him since you’ve already got him thoroughly pampered and spoiled.
I think you may have to give him a direct ultimatum.
Tell him he must help with the chores, get a job or get out.
You must have one of those frank talks. He has to be told that since you are working to provide food and shelter and all else, he should clean, shop, make supper and do the washing up.
If you cannot get him to move towards a helping hand then this relationship certainly seems doomed to me.
– CHRISTINE
