NEWSPAPER HEADLINES. Yuh need a special talent to come up with a headline that will mek a fella want to run and buy a NATION newspaper although sometimes de headlines and de story don’t seem to mesh!
Recently during the Bubbadus leg of de Aussie tour of the West Indies, I couldn’t help but notice some of de local headlines.
On Friday, March 30th, de back page read Fidel Fired Up and, true, he was itching to get back into the team and de icing would be to do so at de Mecca. But I wondered to meself, only he fired up? What ’bout de rest?
De next day de front page story headline was Bajan Duo Delivers. De Vendor start to laugh ’cause I was at de T20 match at de Oval, and while I agree that Dwayne Smith was definitely de Man Of De Match wid dat awesome innings that ripped de heart outa de Aussies and Fidel was on fire, I also thought that it was more than a Bajan duo that delivered.
After all, Marlon Samuels bowled beautifully and took wickets, and Dwayne Bravo delivered a spectacular run out from side-on to get rid of danger man David Warner and he bowl two of de last four overs and also delivered two wickets in one over just like Edwards who bowl de other two overs. So how come de headline was ’bout de two Bajan boys, and dat Bravo’s final over which sealed the deal could not be included in de headline? Because de headline would be too long and woulda read Bajan Duo/ Trini Mek Crowd Holler Bravo? I got to admit it don’t sound so sweet! Or Bravo And Bajan Duo Deliver or maybe Aussies Taste Callaloo, Jerk and Cou Cou that woulda include Messrs Samuels,
Smith, Edwards and Bravo. Or maybe this: Like REDjet, Aussies Grounded!
Then on Sunday, April 8th, the sports headline was ‘K’ We Go, and the story started with, “Barbadians had something to shout about yesterday.” Yes, we were all proud even if a little bored that young Kirk Brathwaite had defied the Aussie attack for many hours and had compiled a good score to set the Windies onto what, at the time, seemed an unbeatable path.
But by the time de writing was pun de wall and we were about to be beaten by Australia, once again, the headline remembered that we were, in fact, a team and read WI Crumble.
It wasn’t Bajans Fail To Deliver or Bajans, Trinis And Jamaicans Flop.
Mine woulda been Like Apple, WI Crumble or Batting Diarrhoea, WI All Out or Like Bad Sex WI Flop. I know my editor Antoinette Connell woulda give me a pink slip and sent me packing a long time ago.
All of which reminds de Vendor of the 2007 ICC Cricket World Cup. At the opening in Jamaica, Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller was so proud of her country’s role, she spoke about Jamaica this and Jamaica that.
But by de time the Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer was found dead in he hotel room at de Pegasus hotel (and for a while foul play was suspected), suddenly Portia was saying, “It is a sad day for the West Indies!” Not fuh Jamaica! Ah wonder iffing dat is de problem wid CARICOM?
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now.You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?
