Dear Christine,
I am writing for advice and to give a little of my own. I am in my thirties and got involved with a married man five years ago. We now have a two-year-old daughter.
When we met I knew he had a wife, but he used to complain about his sex life with her.
He told me he would ask her to have sex and often she would say no. On the other hand, he performed all kinds of sex acts with me. He never disrespected me or anything like that, but to be honest, Christine, married men are no good. They tell you things about their wives to get under your skirt.
He used to take me to apartments sometimes for the entire day. Now, he hardly brings anything for his daughter and he is being controlled by his wife. I can hardly make ends meet on my salary. I have to send the child to nursery and still buy food items. It is very hard on me.
Christine, he does not even call to find out if his daughter is okay. I am thinking of putting him in court because his daughter did not choose her parents or ask to be here. However, she is here, and there is nothing that can be done about that.
He had always wanted a child of his own and now she is here, he is playing the fool.
My advice to all you young women out there is to keep your legs shut and don’t let these married men trick you. Forget their sweet talk about things not working out at home. At the end of the day they are not going to leave their wives for you. Not at all! The sweet talk about how much they love you and don’t want to lose you is just lies.
Christine, I was wrong, but he is a liar and a cheat. He cheated on his wife for four years when he spent many late nights out with me.
When she called, he would always say he was out with a friend, or at football. He is a liar! I hope she never forgives him because he cannot be trusted.
– Tiffany B.
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Dear Tiffany B.,
Each week I receive letters such as yours – where a young woman’s eyes are suddenly opened following a failed affair with a married man.
Readers complain that these letters are all the same, but the truth is, each woman is deeply hurt and needs a chance to vent her frustration, anger and disappointment. That, I understand.
However, while I sympathize with you concerning support for your child, I also know that, like the other young women, you went into this relationship with your eyes fully open. This man cannot be blamed entirely; you also went along with his lies and his two-timing ways.
That there is a child puts a different spin on things. It’s his, and he should support that child who, rightly speaking, had nothing to do with her being here. If you believe he needs to be placed before the court, that’s your right; go ahead and do so.
You have learned from your mistakes and you’re offering advice to women out there. Let’s hope they take that advice to heart.
It does not help at this stage to wish anything bad for him and his marriage. What he has sown, he will surely reap. Chances are, you were not the first person he had an affair with and you probably won’t be the last.
Try to concentrate on raising your child and teaching her the values of life from early so she won’t make the same mistakes you did.
I am sure things will get better for you as long as you work at seeing something positive in every bad outcome.
– CHRISTINE
