I am afraid my past has come back to haunt me in the most humiliating and disgraceful way.
In 1988 I was a domestic worker at the home of a well-to-do family. I had been working there for over ten years. The entire family was more than generous and respectful toward me.
Whatever they had they would share with me. They trusted me around the house even when they were overseas travelling. The Joneses (not their real names) would involve me in all their family outings and shower me with presents for my birthday and Christmas.
In turn, I?was always very respectful to them.
It was in the summer of 1988 that Mrs Jones had to leave the island because of an urgent business meeting. She asked that I report for work as usual since she was not taking the two kids with her.
She suggested I?stay there for the three-day weekend she was away since the kids and I had a great relationship. The two children were young so she didn’t think Mr Jones would be able to manage them on his own, especially the younger child who had trouble sleeping at night.
I remember it like yesterday. It was a Saturday when the kids went to a birthday party and came home tired. I,?too, was tired as I had used that time to clean and do what I?could since they weren’t at home.
That same day Mr Jones invited a few of his friends over. They talked, they laughed and, yes, they drank until the liquor had to be replenished. I put the kids to bed and I?also went to bed.
It still hurts so much to talk about it . . . . But I remember waking up to a male figure over me. The person put his hands over my mouth. The room was pitch black. The man whispered: “Do not scream, you know you want this too.” I?could die. The voice was oh so familiar; it was the voice of Mr Jones. I cried and cried as he had his way with me.
I remember it like it was yesterday. A man I had respected for so long now disrespected me by violating my body. I felt ashamed, as if in some way it was my fault. When he was done, I got up, put all my stuff together, left their home and never returned.
Mrs Jones called and called until she realized I didn’t want to be found, at least not by them. I told no one. Who would believe me anyway? I was the hired help.
Nine months later I gave birth to my daughter. Yes, I became pregnant by that monster of a man. I do not believe in abortions and even if I did, I wouldn’t have had the money to make it happen since I was not working.
It took a while but I started to rebuild my life. I raised my daughter to be a moral woman. I never uttered a word about my ordeal to her. She thinks her father abandoned me so we never really talk about him. She is now a young, attractive woman and has a good job.
But now I face my worst nightmare. She told me there is a guy she likes. She explained that she met him at one of her friend’s party about two years ago. She said she had been talking to him on and off since then, but it started getting serious last year.
I?knew she has male friends but I give her her space. I’ll admit that at times I get overly possessive, given what I?went through. She told me when they go out he takes her to his house and they are intimate. She became pregnant by a man I did not know up to Christmas weekend.
Finally, she brought him home for me to meet him. One look at him and my knees started to buckle. To my horror she introduced the Jones’ son as her boyfriend – and he was the father of her child!
My heart sunk. Both my head and belly instantly ached me. I went straight to the bathroom.
I have been sick to the stomach everyday since then. I?now have to face my dark past all over again. I?have to be honest with my daughter and let her know she is in love with her brother. And she is pregnant with her niece or nephew.
My daughter is the only person I love on this earth and to tell her she is involved in an incestuous relationship because I hid my past from her will tear her apart. This thing is ripping me apart!
Our lives will never be the same again. I?have ruined my daughter’s life forever!
