Dear Christine,
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED a few years now and have three children.
My husband goes around with another married woman whose husband has left her.
She also has children of her own. We talk to each other and she tells me whatever happens to my husband. He only comes home to sleep because the woman says she does not want any man sleeping at her house.
He gives me nothing except dirty remarks and I give him the answers to suit. Anyhow, I now realize that he is stupid so I have stopped answering him. I just let him talk.
He goes so far as to tell me his woman is better than me. Sometimes I feel like doing him harm, but a small voice tells me not to bother.
He used to tell me that I should look for a man and I told him the day I find one he would be sorry.
Now, after seven years of pressure, I met a guy who I share my problems with. Although my husband is carrying on an affair with that woman, he is jealous of my talking to the guy. I ignored him.
Now he is threatening our jobs. He came on my job to beat me and I ran.
Now he is complaining to the guy’s boss for him. I cannot understand his actions and his threat to continue nagging me until I get fed up and leave him.
– A.
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Dear A.,
You are in a very difficult position, like being caught between a rock and a hard place. You do not have your husband to yourself, yet he won’t allow you to have someone else even though he does not want you. What can a person do in a case like this?
As stupid as this may sound, I’d stick to my principles and wedding vows until my husband gives me a divorce.
Do this for the sake of peace. If he does not make this first move and the marriage is definitely going nowhere, then you should be the initiator and get those divorce papers drawn up.
Your husband should not expect to have it both ways and you should not allow him to. Do not be at his beck and call, looking after his needs while he runs around, and do not put up with his treatment.
Make that first move to have the marriage dissolved if it is his intention to continue this affair – as it clearly is, from where I sit. Once your marriage is dissolved, you will both be free to live your lives as you please.
– CHRISTINE
