Dear Christine,
My reason for writing to you is because you give true and frank answers and I need your advice.
I have been having an affair with a married man, who works in the same office as I do. This affair has been going on for a long time now.
He visits my home almost every night and sleeps with me until the wee hours of the morning; then he goes home to his wife and three children.
This man gives me everything I need. Last year he even sent me overseas on a cruise with my best friend. I am certain that his wife and children do not get half the amount of attention and gifts I get from him.
For some time now I have been asking him to get a divorce from his wife. He said he would, but he has done nothing about it.
Do you think I should approach his wife and demand that she give him a divorce?
I am really fed up with him just sleeping with me and nothing else. I also feel embarrassed about the staff at work knowing about our affair.
My family believes he will marry me some day, but, Christine, that day seems very far away.
–L.H.
Dear L.H.,
I think you’re wrong! That day is not “very far away”. The truth is, it will never come.
I suppose that every girl or woman who falls in love with a married man is confident their affair will end the way they wish it to.
They believe the man will divorce his wife, leave his children, and that life will be lived happily ever after with the man.
Not so, my dear; not in most cases. Sometimes when women become frustrated – like you are right now – and face the futility of their hopes, they withdraw. However, more often than not, it is the man who promised them the sun, moon and stars who eventually calls it quits and returns totally to his wife and children.
It seems like you will have to settle for the trips and the few hours each day. The wife still has the real thing, plus the ring.
I suppose your family members are also beneficiaries of the material things you receive. That’s the reason why they are “cheering you on”, while you stand likely to destroy an entire family.
If you want marriage, stop grazing in someone else’s turf and find a field of your own in which to graze.
– CHRISTINE
