DEAR CHRISTINE: Wife not keen on making love
Could you please tell me why my wife has lost interest in sex? I am very distressed by this.
When we first got married four years ago – she was very keen on lovemaking, and very good at it.
After the birth of our third child, she seemed to lost all interest in going to bed with me. We have had many arguments about this. I have to admit that at about that time we had some problems with our marriage.
She found out I had been seeing another woman, and she got very angry about this. What I would like to know is this – is there some medicine or pill which could get her in order to make her more enthusiastic about lovemaking once more?
You have got to be kidding me. Your wife has had three children in the past four years; you’ve had an affair with another woman, and you are asking for advice as to why she is not keen on lovemaking?
Excuse me for saying this, but I hope that the “I” in your initial does not stand for “idiot,” or “ignorant.”
And, “no”, there’s no pill or medicine “to get your wife in order to make her more enthusiastic about lovemaking once more.” You may be the one who needs the medicine.
To be honest, your letter strikes me as rather “on the selfish side”. You don’t seem to have considered the fact that it is often very, very exhausting for a woman to have three babies.
Indeed, women very frequently lose interest in sex for a while after repeated childbirths. This may be nature’s way of giving them rest for a while.
Have you considered your own unfaithfulness? Perhaps when she was pregnant? A woman who finds out about her husband’s adultery quite often experiences an emotional reaction in which she loses all interest in sex.
What you should do right now is make every effort to be much, much more understanding to your wife.
To begin with, take her to the doctor and see if her pregnancies do not have her run down and anaemic, and then both of you, together with your doctor, can discuss this loss of interest in sex.