Dear Christine,
I am 22 years old with a three-year-old child and I am living with a married man who is about to divorce his wife. Please give me your advice.
I am here with this married guy and I feel like I cannot take it anymore.
His wife comes around whenever she feels like, especially when he is at work, and makes noise with me. She is already living with a man and I am trying my best to look after my child, while seeking to leave this man alone.
I just need to find a place to go. I have been told not to worry about her as long as she does not hit me.
Recently, I met another guy who has a home of his own. I love this man a lot; not for what he’s got, but simply because he is single and I am so longing to have someone who is not attached to another person.
I would really like to get away from this married man but this other man has asked me to hold on to the married man until he settles himself, which should be sometime early next year.
I am finding it hard to believe this man. What do you think? Do you think he is fooling me?
– PP
Dear PP,
Sorry, dear, but I think he is. Here’s my take.
If this man really wanted to be with you, he would invite and allow you to settle in with him.
If he really cared about you, he wouldn’t give you the green light to live under a roof with another man – especially one who is married.
This married man is another waste of your time. Why tarry in an environment where his wife has the all-clear to turn up and give you a good cussing because you have her husband? That’s really the bottom line.
Separated or not, this man is still legally married.
Then, there is another man in the picture, I gather. That would be the father of your child. Where does he fit into the scheme of things? If he is not supporting the child, the law courts can be your recourse.
Wise up! Open your eyes and see what these men are doing to you. Don’t fall for the promises and don’t set your eyes on just what they’ve got to offer.
Try your best to become independent. You’re still relatively young and you have a child who is depending on you.
Stop planning your life around them and start making steps to get a new lease on life – perhaps with the help of your family, if they are there to offer support.
– CHRISTINE
