LOOKA LEW: I frighten to fly
Now I don’t want to frighten nobody, so if you are travelling soon, or if you at the airport getting ready to board your flight, or if you are on the plane and now settling down, I would strongly suggest that you don’t read any more of this article, cause you gine get frighten.
Listen to me very carefully, right now I real frighten to get on any airplane. I used to be always scared, but right now I more frighten than a cockroach at a fowl-cock party.
In all my life, I cannot remember so many planes dropping out the sky, can you? I am very serious, I have to go to New York next month and I planning to walk.
The thing is, travelling nowadays ain’t no bed of roses. Cause when you at the airport going through security you virtually have to undress.
They make you take off your shoes, take out your false teets, and take off your wig. You do all of that and then butt up on a drunking clown flying the plane, whose woman horning him with his best friend, so he vex with the world. So the last thing on his mind is landing that plane safely.
So I done decide, that any time I travelling, before the pilot gets behind the wheel, he has to let me smell his breath, so I can be certain he wasn’t drinking rum or smoking weed. Cause if I even smell mouthwash on his breath, that plane ain’t moving, cause I frighten to dead.
And what I find amusing, is that before the plane takes off, the stewardesses does take you through a whole set of safety procedures, where in case the plane is about to crash in water, they teach you how to put on the safety vest, and how to blow in the two tubes at the side to inflate it.
As far as I concern that is a waste of time. Instead of teaching people how to put on a life vest and blow through tubes, them should be teaching people how to pray. Cause when that plane falls from 32 000 feet up in the sky, the only thing that can save your little tail is the Lord’s Prayer.
I serious, there is nothing scarier than when a plane hits some turbulence or potholes in the sky.
Imagine you sitting on the toilet about to do a thing when the plane drop in them potholes, and you hear the captain say go back to your seat and fasten your seatbelt. If de thing on its way down you have to haul it back up like a kite and run back fast to your seat.
Sometimes the plane shaking from side to side like it gine shackle out any minute, then it make a sudden drop and you feel like your belly drop out. Meanwhile you bathed in sweat, got the armrest grabble up and saying all the prayers them teach you at primary school.
When you look around, you could see fright on the faces of all the passengers. Some making the sign of the cross, some got them eyes shut but you could see them lips moving in pray.
Then you look around and see a man comfortably sitting with a smile on his face, and it dawns upon you that this is the first time that you are seeing him on the plane.
And suddenly bells in your head start ringing, and you wonder if he is the death angel who came to collect you.
Now tell me that don’t frighten you. See ya.
E-mail: [email protected]