Dear Christine:
I AM 22 years old and always wanted to keep away from sex until after I got married.
However, I have failed to live up to this by allowing my boyfriend to have sex with me. Now, I am feeling depressed and unhappy, especially since we never discussed plans to get married.
He’s just someone I like a lot and we are good friends. I feel awful. Can you help?
– JA
Dear JA:
Let me get this right. Is he someone you just like or is he your boyfriend? I sense a real disconnection between you two.
It seems to me that you need to find out just where you stand with him. Since you have not stated much about this young man, I am left to believe that he is not actually your boyfriend – in a serious, committed way – so have that talk to clear up any misunderstandings.
In the meantime, do not be too hard on yourself. What’s done is done. Although you may no longer be a virgin there is no reason why you cannot revert to your own moral judgments from here on.
There is also no reason why you cannot continue to be friends with this young man without the sexual intimacy. That is, if he is prepared to remain friends with you.
Feelings can change and yours may become deeper for him. Who knows? I can only hope that his feelings for you go beyond sexual pleasure and that the connection which you seek you’ll find with him. If you do not, there will be that special someone somewhere in the future.
– CHRISTINE
