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LOOKA LEW: Ain’t opening my door


Eric Lewis

LOOKA LEW: Ain’t opening my door

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I don’t care if it is my mother outside knocking, I am not opening my door unless she could show me two pieces of ID and could tell me the shape of the birthmark on my bottom. That is how frighten these crooks ’bout here got me.

And if it is Jesus outside knocking and saying, “behold, I standeth at the door and knock”, well I will be telling him, “behold, if thou art Jesus, then worketh thou a miracle for me, cause verily I say unto thee, I have a good friend who would like a certain body part raised from the dead”.

And if he helps my friend (whichin only Jesus could), well then I would gladly open the door, but I aint taking no foolish chances.

Seriously, these robbers ’bout here got everybody real frighten to open them door or peep out the window, cause the problem is that they don’t look like typical thieves.

They dressing up real businesslike and coming with all kinda tricks to get you open the door or come out to them. And once they get that door open, well you in some serious trouble.

The thing is, nowadays anybody with a computer and printer, could make realistic looking ID cards, with any company’s logo. So you really don’t know who is who.

So that well-dressed fella knocking with a Bible in hand, or the fella with a van outside telling you to come and see what he selling could all be thieves, cause nowadays you don’t know who is who.

And only last week, I heard a would-be robber sprayed something in a old lady’s face when she went to the window to see who was knocking, so all of that got me frighten too.

Listen, a woman even told me that one morning she heard a knocking on her door, when she peep out she saw a young lady in jogging clothes, and this lady, who appeared to be in discomfort, asked her to use her bathroom.

Well being a woman herself, and understanding the need for privacy and clean surroundings, she was about to open the door, but when she looked up the road she saw a man ducking down behind some bushes. So she quickly moved away from the window and told her “no”. Minutes later she saw the same lady and the man walking gine up the road.

So people you must be careful, you really don’t know who is who and these thieves got all kinda tricks. One famous scam is to go to old people homes and tell them that they have a parcel for them from a family member living overseas, but they are going to need some money to clear it from the port or post office.

They also have another set of people knocking on your house holding a petrol can, they usually visit people who haven’t seen them in a long time, or if you don’t know them, they would use one of your family member names and say they went to school or used to work with the person, and they will say that their car ran out of gas and they forgot their wallet home so they would like to borrow $10. Do not give them a cent or open your door.

I tell you, these thieves ain’t making no sport, so I done decide, if the health inspectors want to come in my backyard looking for mosquitoes, well the mosquitoes gine got to come out to them, cause I am not opening my door. See ya.

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