DEAR CHRISTINE: Hubby’s a flirt but I love him anyway

Dear Christine,

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED for two years, have a son for my husband and we’re living together.

Our relationship has had its ups and downs since day one. It is just a lot of fighting and quarrelling most times.

At one point I found out he cheated on me but yet I still try to work things out because I do not believe in divorce.

I did not grow up with my dad, neither did my husband, so I wouldn’t want the same for my son.

My husband flirts continuously with women on his phone. If I say anything about it, it’s all lies or he blames me for doing things. While he is checking out other women, he still turns around and searches my phone and tries to make an issue.

I love my husband and would love for us to go further together, but where trust is concerned, there’s none. I would like your advice please.

– KS

Dear KS,

You did state how long you have been married but I wonder how long you knew your husband before you married him.

If your relationship has had its ups and downs from day one, it tells me that you’re in a marriage that will take a miracle for it to turn around for the better.

It’s interesting to note that despite the bad treatment, you still love him very much and want to see things turn around for your good as well as his.

I am honestly at a loss as to what advice to give you.

Your husband seems bent in his ways and he obviously has little respect for you – which is a shame.

If you are not happy in the relationship but you are willing to stay with him for the sake of your son, that may be deemed an honourable thing to you. However, is it really?

It may be better for him to grow up with one parent than to witness the fighting and whatever else negative is taking place in your marriage.

If your husband is willing to sit down and speak with a counsellor or pastor, that’s fine. However, if he is not and he is not bent on changing his ways, you have two options – get a divorce or stick around for all the drama. The choice is yours.

You are the one who has to weigh the consequences of your actions – whatever you decide to do. I cannot make up your mind for you. You will have to do that on your own. 

– CHRISTINE