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DEAR CHRISTINE: Still secretive about his home after a whole year


DEAR CHRISTINE: Still secretive about his home after a whole year

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PLEASE HELP ME if you can, or maybe I should say, please advise me on what I should do.

Last year I met a young man from one of the islands. We got to know each other and started a relationship.

My girlfriends told me I was rushing things too quickly with this young man, but he seemed decent, very friendly and he immediately took to my two children.

When I met him he was on a two-week vacation on the island. Well, things between us seemed pretty okay and so he visited the island twice in three months so we could spend time together.

In March this year, he returned to Barbados to see about a work contract. He was successful and that afforded us the opportunity to see more of each other.

He is now living at my place. Everything was going okay until I started asking him if I could take a trip to his country to visit his family. He knows all my siblings and my parents.

Well, he has been making excuses since then. It is either that he is working hard or we will do it next month. Perhaps for Christmas. It’s been excuse after excuse. His work contract ends in November.

I am beginning to wonder if this man is married and has a family back home. Why is he so reluctant for me to visit his country?

My children have grown very fond of him, as their father is not in the picture anymore. I would hate for him to break their hearts – or mine for that matter. I have asked him if he is married or has children back home and he says no.

However, I do not believe him and I am thinking about hiring someone to run some checks on him.

Do you think I should?


Dear Anxious To Know The Truth,

I smell something fishy myself, and that’s why I’ll tell you to have him investigated if you can afford to, and if it will make you sleep better at night.

I don’t think you’ll be doing anything wrong.

As a matter of fact, every day identity and credits checks are carried out on a majority of people.

If after a year of seeing him and now having him live in your home, he cannot find the time, perhaps a weekend, to take you to his country to meet his family, I’d question all of his motives – even the real reason why he is seeing you.

Don’t hesitate, put your mind at rest and be prepared for whatever results you find. – CHRISTINE