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DEAR CHRISTINE: Children hurting from father’s neglect

Barbados Nation

DEAR CHRISTINE: Children hurting from father’s neglect

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Dear Christine,

I TRIED as long as possible to keep my marriage going as the two children from my marriage were and still are very fond of their father who has always been carefree.

Anyhow, he eventually got involved with a woman who was not prepared to just live with him like all the others did and he pestered me and made life hopelessly miserable for us. I finally divorced him.

Now I wonder why I did not do this before, because life is so much better for me without him.

My problem, however, is his attitude towards the children. It was arranged that he could see them anytime. After the separation and divorce, he’d come for them on Saturdays or Sunday and they would have a ball.

Recently, however, he has been making excuses and not turning up. At the last minute he would call to say he could not make it.

Christine, it would break your heart to see how the children look forward to his coming; going from window to window. When it comes time for me to tell them he’s not coming, they get very upset. They cry a lot. I find the eldest cries for days. What can I do?

– M.S


Dear M.S.,

I absolutely hate it when adults make children suffer because of their selfishness and bad decisions. Your ex-husband needs to be told how much his attitude and actions are hurting these innocent children, who seem to love him dearly.

I believe when you confront him about their pain, he’ll try to make up to them; that is, if he has a heart.

If he continues on the current trend, these same children who now love him dearly will learn not to care for him and cut him from their lives.

In the meantime, see if you can make up for his shortcomings by planning a treat for the children when he does not turn up – maybe a picnic, a day at the beach, lunch at the restaurant of their choice, or a ride somewhere. Let them have a say in the decision-making.