Dear Christine,
I NEED your guidance in helping me to make a serious decision. I am contemplating moving in with my boyfriend, but am not sure whether it is the right thing to do. I am 18 years old and my mother likes to treat me as if I was 13 or 14 and with no respect.
I have been liking this fellow for the past six months and he has been very good to me. He takes me to a lot of parties, to the cinema and we go out cruising on Saturday nights or Sunday evenings. He has been giving me lots of clothing and shoes. Since I met him in Swan Street one Saturday morning, I do not lack for anything.
My mother says he is a trickster and that he is not 35 years old as he tells me, but near to 50 as she has known him for a long time. She wants me to keep away from him and claims that he is up to no good because he would not say where he works.
I asked him where he works and he told me that he is an independent salesman buying and selling a variety of things. He says the aim is to work smart and not hard, and to keep a low profile so that the tax man and other people do not get into his business.
He has assured me that if I move in with him, I would have no problem and can even work for him. He operates his business from his home along with two brothers and his mother. He wants me to come with them before Christmas.
– J
Dear J,
Your mother loves you and wants the very best for you, that is why she speaks to you and offers guidance the way she does. Listen to your mother who does not want any harm to come your way. At 18 you should not be in a hurry to move in with anyone.
As quickly as you move in, you may also move out and the hurt which comes with any such move can be very difficult to deal with.
The mere fact that there is uncertainty about this man’s age and that he wants you to share a house with him, but yet it seems to be no more than a room at his family home, does not send a good message.
You seem to be getting into nothing more than a messy, unworkable affair.
Mother knows best in these circumstances.
– Christine
