DEAR CHRISTINE: Mum wants daughter to settle down
MY 29-YEAR-OLD daughter keeps telling me she is waiting to find the right man to marry, even though she has had a lot of men around to choose from.
When I was her age, I had three children. When I married, I had never been with any man intimately.
How can I convince her that it’s time for her to marry and settle down?
You cannot. There is no set date or time for anyone to get married. In fact, since your daughter is 29, the less you say to her about her personal life, the better.
This does not mean you cannot give her motherly advice, but when it comes to matters of the heart, and something as serious as marriage, she is the one who has to make her own choices.
Parents who try to live their children’s lives end up frustrated and unhappy because eventually, the children resent their interference.
Your daughter is living in a different time and in very different circumstances than you did when you were her age.
Many young adults are deliberately delaying marriage because they want to avoid the unhappiness that comes with divorce. They feel that if they wait until they are more mature and experienced, they may improve the chances of making a marriage work when they do take that step.
If you want to keep your daughter’s friendship and respect, give her the emotional space she needs and leave things alone.