PUDDING & SOUSE: Man wakes up married
A MAN WHO thought he was having a one-night stand, is now married and totally confused as to what exactly transpired.
And his wife, a non-national and regular church-goer, has taken full control over his assets and bank book.
And a male insider, who also knows her personally, very personally, is spilling the beans.
The husband, a returning national, bragged about his one-night stand and his prowess to all and sundry. On the contrary, she said the only thing big about him was his belly. She was on her way to work in The City that night, stopped after he called and did not even bother to go to The City lights that night.
He has so far handed over thousands of dollars, a car, house and is now immobile.
The insider says that he fears she is trying to slow-poison him and he is living in dread of eating anything from her. But, when hunger kicks in, he has to.
She has told her friends that the one-night stand was the honeymoon and wedding wrapped up in one and she is now working overtime on him so that she can inherit all he has. Stay tuned, this one is hot!
Naked to the Word
RESIDENTS DEEMED it most despicable. But the man who committed the act says he is quite comfortable with himself.
You see, field workers were in the area spreading the Word and encouraging residents to turn to the Lord.
But, one resident, who would have none of it, kept his eyes on them until they got to his place of abode in, believe it or not, the king’s land.
On hearing them ascending the steps, he positioned himself in a chair in the front, in his birth suit, and unlocked the door. When they knocked to witness to him, he urged them to open the door. There he was, the naked truth. The sight disgusted them and caused them to flee.
Residents say that he is now satisfied that they would never set foot on his property again. But many also fear that with his weaknesses for the flesh, judgement day may not be far away for him and it may not be long before karma steps in and he finds himself exposed for the world to see.
Girlfriend wants a ring
A WOMAN whose life was incomplete without marriage is kicking up a fuss at the domestic level with her live-in boyfriend.
Word is that not a day passes without this prim and proper woman making noise about marriage. She has given him a deadline and sworn that she would be out of the house if it is not met. An angel at the workplace, but the devil’s imp at home, the man has sworn that he too is going to be gone on or before the deadline, so both may be fleeing on the same day.
The woman has sworn that they are the only people in the quiet neighbourhood in the South who are not married. But he argues that is far from true and, in any case, irrelevant.
But the troubled child that she is, he said that he has had enough. And, in checking out the family tree it seems as though they are all troubled, so come deadline time he will be bolting. P&S will be revisiting this one shortly.
Stop the cover-up
HE AND PEOPLE who can help him are best friends and he has a serious problem but he won’t dare go to them for help.
Here’s the scenario: He has a hernia and it needs to be cut, but instead he is changing the way he dresses to hide the impression.
The busybody is now wearing his shirts outside of his pants and a size or two over to hide his masculinity. But staffers are onto him and are wondering why this health worker does not get his business attended to and stop minding other people’s business.