DEAR CHRISTINE: Is he just cheap or old school?
DEAR CHRISTINE, I am a widow in my late 60s, attractive and youthful looking (I’m told). For the past three years, I have been going out with a nice man my age.
I have him over for home-cooked meals and I occasionally pay for our dinners and movies out. He is also my guest for dinners at my club, and of course I pay the club dues.
Sometimes I pick him up in my car for our dates and day trips. He can well afford to take me out and pick up the cheque, but he always says, “Let’s keep it even.”
I am becoming more and more uncomfortable when we’re having dinner out, because I resent being expected to split the cost of everything. He is an educated, interesting man. I find myself wondering if I’m out of step with the times – or if he’s cheap.
Christine, I feel used. I’m beginning to lose respect for him. I’m from the old school . . . . If a man asks a lady out, he pays. What’s your opinion? Should I tell him I’m tired of nit-picking expenses and stop paying for half of everything?
You will get nowhere fast if you keep on letting your resentment build up to the point where you lose respect for him. You must let this man know that you’re from the old school. That means that he picks up the tab when he takes you to a restaurant.
Likewise, if you invite him out to lunch or dinner, you are the one who should pay. It’s as easy as that.