DEAR CHRISTINE: Pregnant for an abusive man
DEAR CHRISTINE, I have a problem and I need your help very soon. I am five months pregnant for a man who is causing me some heartache. I do not work so I have to depend on my family for everything. Since he got me pregnant, all he does is makes promises.
He and I were friends for two years and it was not until I got pregnant that I knew he had another woman.
I could not do anything to help myself then because he showed me a knife and told me that if I ever do anything to his child, or call the police, he would kill me. That makes me very afraid.
Now, every time he comes to my parents’ home, which is twice every two weeks, all he wants is sex. If I refuse, he beats me even knowing the condition I am in. When I ask him for anything, all he says is that he hasn’t got any money and I would get it next week, but next week never comes.
A friend of mine told me that since the woman found out that he left me for her and that I am pregnant for him, she told him to go along with me and leave her alone or she would call the police for him. He also has another girl who he takes to and from work.
Christine, what do you think I should do? All I do now is cry night and day because of the way this man treats me. I don’t even know where I would be getting things from to go into the hospital. All he is saying is that when the child is born, he will be coming for it, because there would be nothing I can do for it, because I do not work anywhere and he would say I am an unfit mother.
I am begging, not asking, those young girls out there not to get pregnant unless you want to and can finance yourself and the child. You don’t know what hardships you would meet if you are not working. I know what it is like, so don’t any of you try to find out.
I hope you can give me some good advice.
This man has got the nerve to threaten you, and he does so in your mother’s home when he comes looking for sex? You seem to have run into a real bad-john. There is no way he can take your baby away from you if you want to keep it.
If you must, visit the Welfare Department and share your plight. They will advise you on what you should do in terms of getting much needed help. You are not alone. They will help you in your hour of need. I would be glad to assist you with baby clothing if you send me your name and address.
I hope your warning to the young girls is heeded, though in many instances, I doubt it.