“Their ability to understand what would be happening, how to protect themselves from risk or harm, and their being able to give informed consent can be a major issue.
Dear Helen,
I have been wondering about this for a long time, but have never seen anything about it in anything I have read. I’m not really a computer and Internet person, so I have not looked there. But I read Better Health, and you usually have good answers. So, here’s my question: Do people with Down’s Syndrome have sex? I mean how do they cope with it? Forgive me if my question sounds ignorant, but it’s not something I have even heard talk about.- Frederick Dear Frederick
Yes, people with Down’s Syndrome can have sex, just as anyone else. Indeed, many do and they have as much right to feel loved as anybody else.
What is Down’s Syndrome? A quote from Wikipedia says: “also known as trisomy 21, (Down’s Syndrome) is a genetic disorder caused by the presence of all or part of a third copy of chromosome 21. It is usually associated with physical growth delays, mild to moderate intellectual disability, and characteristic facial features”.
Depending on the degree of learning disability and level of understanding that someone has, this is often seen as more of an issue than the act itself, and their ability to understand what would be happening, how to protect themselves from risk or harm, and their being able to give informed consent can be a major issue.
For young people, under the age of consent, and also under the age of majority, these are big issues and some involve legal implications.
Indeed, weighing someone’s human rights against keeping them safe from harm can feel like a huge dilemma for many parents and carers. Any person with learning disabilities needs greater help and support than someone without learning problems, but it also depends on the degree of disability as to how far parents and/or authorities can, or even should, intervene to keep someone safe. Parents and carers of children with Down’s Syndrome may already know about an organisation in the UK, called Down’s Syndrome Association – a registered charity. It is incredibly helpful and goes into depth about this very topic. It is a huge one, and there is simply not enough space in the column to answer everything here – so please take a look there, too. Their website is packed full of really useful information
https://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/.
They also have some free downloadable booklets that are great reference material and I recommend reading them, too. I’m afraid I don’t know if you have a similar organisation in Barbados, but from your question, I suspect perhaps not – yet.
The World Health Organisation states: “Sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality. It requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.”
The Down’s Syndrome Medical Interest Group – another registered charity in the UK – set up in 1996 by a network of health care professionals in the UK and the Republic of Ireland, states:
“Young People and adults with a learning disability have a right to:
• fulfilling personal and sexual relationships.
• marry or cohabit.
• make an informed choice about whether or not to have children.
• take risks and make mistakes in personal relationships.
• privacy and to be free from exploitation.
• receive sex education, including counselling on personal relationships, sex and sexuality, contraceptive advice and sexual health support services.”
Obviously, never having sex would keep someone free of the risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, but at what price to that person? Years ago, people with Down’s Syndrome and other learning disabilities were routinely removed from their family and institutionalised. They were kept away from everyday society. They had special needs, so were seen as too difficult to handle. There was stigma against the person and often, against the family, too.
They weren’t seen as ‘perfect’.
But that doesn’t take any account of the person’s feelings, fears, dreams or desires – let alone their rights – and the fact that many couples with Down’s Syndrome go on to have happy, loving, healthy relationships when they are given the love, care and support to be able to do so. They may need a lot more help, often on an ongoing basis, but that shouldn’t mean they can’t find and hold on to the love that others seek and may find. We all have the same needs, deep down. Just think how you may feel, if this was you or someone you love, not an abstract stranger. You sound as if you want to understand more and I can’t help wondering if you may go on to help others because of this question, too.
I am sure that if you are asking for a personal reason – that you are asking for yourself or for someone close to you who may be a parent or carer of someone with this condition – your doctor could guide you about local support. Likewise, the guidance counsellors at the schools could help you, too.
Hopefully, before too much longer, the world won’t just ‘stand and stare’ but ‘stand and care’ enough to help and support all people with learning disabilities and not feel that they are all that different from themselves. Some of us just need more help to navigate this increasingly fast and often uncaring world. It may be difficult at times, but what in life worth doing well is ever easy?
I hope this helps you, Frederick, and anyone else who has the same concern.
– Helen
